Like You, I'm Trying To Do The "Vacation Thing” Better

July 5, 2022

A college president dropped into a team meeting I was facilitating last week, and her team said, “Hey, I thought you were on vacation this week.” The president said, “I’m struggling to stay away.”


Most leaders I know struggle with taking vacations of any kind.


I’m curious if you do because I am planning a bit of a sabbatical in July, and I’m not sure I REALLY want to. 


It’s been an epic battle for me over the years.


I LOVE THE WORK.

Many leaders never take a real break. As a result, they end up breaking.


Instead, we cheat (like the college leader mentioned above). You cheat yourself (and your family) by popping on email for an hour every morning. Or by checking in with staff to see if anything’s on fire.


Or maybe you’ve done a “working vacation” (oxymoron) to work on a big project or write a book.


I’ve done all those things, but lately, I’ve been TRYING to be more intentional about taking more real vacations and real breaks.


Like you, I’m trying to do the “vacation thing” better. 


The more driven you are, the more this truth is for you. 


These are some things I’ve experienced in my attempts to gear down over the past year. 

1. Discomfort

When you’re constantly busy, you get used to a fast pace and the hum of always having something needing your attention.


When you take a real break, the quiet outside reveals the disquiet within you.


Pay attention to the discomfort but don’t give into it. Don’t race to fill the stillness with activity. 


Embrace it.


Inside the quiet, you’ll discover a wealth of ideas:

➜ Issues you need to work through.

➜ Fears you need to confront.

➜ Possibilities you never dreamed of before.

➜ You! A fully present and authentic YOU.


If you don’t give in to the discomfort and linger in the silence and quiet long enough, you’ll learn to lead from peace.


As the famous mystic and poet Rumi said, "The soul has been given its ears to hear things the mind does not understand."


Take the discomfort of quiet as a gift and trust that it has something for you. 


2. A Sense Of Being Lost

If you’re used to running at a fast pace, you won’t know exactly what to do with yourself, and you might feel a bit lost. 


That’s totally ok. 


If you do this well, you’ll eventually find a deeper and more mature you. In addition to lingering in the stillness, resist the urge to fill the void with a surge of activity.


Allowing yourself to feel lost will help you find a restored you.


The inner battle is where all growth emerges.


3. Productivity Shame

Productivity shame is what you feel when your life goes from 110 mph to zero overnight.

So, what is productivity shame exactly?


According to the leaders at Rescue Time, first, it’s the feeling that you’ve never done enough. No matter how many hours you work or how many tasks you cross off your to-do list, you always feel a sense of shame around your work. You keep thinking you could have done more.


Second, productivity shame is the feeling that you aren’t allowed to do “unproductive” things. You feel a sense of guilt when you spend time on hobbies, watch a movie, or simply sit back and relax.


Oh, this is killing me! 


You?


4. Tears

Yes, tears. “why on earth am I crying when I’m supposed to be on vacation” tears.

If this is your first foray into being completely off work since the kickoff of the pandemic, then all three factors above may likely lead to tears.


Surprisingly, a good cry signals that you are doing the vacation thing right.


The quiet, discomfort and failure to give in to productivity shame mean you’re giving the silence space to do its work.


The first few times I really unplugged, I learned things about myself (my anger, my achievement addiction, the adrenaline junkie I’d become).

 

And yes, it led to tears. And then therapy and coaching and eventually, to freedom.


The worst thing you can do when you find yourself getting emotional when you’re disconnecting is to shake it off and do what we mid-westerners do… We bury it. 


Let it surface. Surrender to it. 


It’s called growth.


5. A New Baseline

Who are you when you’re fully rested?


My guess is you have no idea how to answer it because the last time you were fully rested, you didn’t have all your permanent teeth in your mouth.


Over the years, I’ve been experimenting with finding my ‘baseline,’ which is how I feel, behave, and approach life when I’m in my non-anxious presence. 


Finding your baseline is a little like the science of speedometer calibration. A speedometer is accurate because it’s calibrated to tell you whether you’re going 35 or 75. 


If the calibration is off, so is your reading.


Many driven leaders lead like their baselines are calibrated to 50 mph. They live at 70-90 mph most of the time. On the weekend, they might come down to 60 or 50 and think, “there, I’m rested.”


But they have no idea there’s even a 20 mph, or 10, or zero. They have no idea who they are deeply rested.


How do you find your baseline?


Take enough time off to sleep and rest until you’re no longer tired. Eat well, exercise, and nap as often as you need to until you’re ‘caught up. Relax, unwind, and get fully rested. Note: This might take a few weeks. Then see who you are.

  • How do you feel?
  • How are you treating other people?
  • What do you enjoy?
  • Who are you now?


That’s your baseline.


The way to do that is to live in a way today that helps you thrive tomorrow. I can show you how to do that here.

 

Find your baseline and get back to it regularly; the next vacation won’t be nearly as hard.


RECLAIM IT!

As we move into the midpoint of summer, you can almost hear that collective “what-the…” from campus leaders across the country. 


Who’s been able to take a break yet?


I had a college president who told me that she “HOPES” to take the 4th of July off “IF” she can complete all her hiring.


I feel her pain and yours. 


The challenges left in the wake of these past two years have many leaders taking extended leave and others left to do most of the work. 


The question is, “is it sustainable?”


I know how much this summer break is needed, and I trust that your calendar has some dates marked off for you to truly get away. 


But don’t be fooled. 


I’m here to remind you that many of those same problems and issues will await you and your team when you return in the fall.   


Leaders hate when I say this (while they shake their heads in agreement), but managing crisis was challenging but leading OUT of crisis will be much more complex and demanding. 


Healthy leaders and teams will be in high demand to build (not rebuild) the plans and strategies to navigate the uncharted territory ahead. 


You need to take action and Reclaim Your Momentum!


You may be one of the hundreds who requested and downloaded my free guide on reclaiming your momentum in the past few weeks and months. The feedback I’ve received from so many of you continues to be overwhelming. 


Because of that, I’m going on tour. 


I’ve turned this essential topic into a 2-hour LIVE keynote that I’m delivering to campus leadership teams across the county this summer and fall. 


If you’re like most campus leaders, you’ve spent countless hours these past years putting out fires, dealing with negativity, drama, and just plain old burnout across the board. 


And, like so many others, you’re fed up with feeling stuck. 


It’s time to take action.


For a limited time, I’m offering an Early Bird Discount for campuses that book our new 2-hour live keynote before July 30th! 


Click here for the details.


What are you waiting for?


It would be an honor to be your guide and help you and your team regain lost ground and Reclaim Your Momentum. 


Joe


Dr. Joe Hill 

Founder, Higher Performance Group


P.S. Be sure to share this email with a team member or fellow leaders across your network who could use a nudge of inspiration and challenge. Together we can help raise the waterline of hope, stability, trust, and compassion for those doing the most good across our learning communities. 


Click here to learn more.



See What Reclaim Your Momentum {LIVE} is All About

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By HPG Info March 24, 2026
Conviction builds loyalty. Consensus builds mediocrity. I own more Milwaukee tools than any non-contractor has any business owning. A drill. A hammer drill. A circular saw. A packout toolbox system I am genuinely embarrassed to price out—because the boxes that hold the tools have become as satisfying as the tools themselves. I am an organizational researcher and executive team coach who studies leadership teams for a living. I have, without anyone asking me to, become an unpaid marketing department for a power tool brand. I've been trying to understand: Why? Because I didn't drift into Milwaukee. I converted. I had DeWalt tools that worked fine. I replaced them—deliberately, at real cost—because I watched someone on YouTube be genuinely passionate about what Milwaukee was building, and I needed to know what that felt like. Three years later, I'm recommending Milwaukee to people who didn't ask about tools. That's not brand loyalty. That's conviction. And it raises a question I haven't been able to stop thinking about: When is the last time someone became an unpaid evangelist for what you're building? When is the last time a family, a faculty member, a board member recommended your leadership—not because you nudged them, not because a survey asked them—but because they couldn't help it? Our research across 987 leadership teams answers this. The highest-performing institutions aren't the most collegial. They're the most convicted. They know precisely what they're building—and precisely what they refuse to build—and that clarity is more infectious than any strategic plan ever produced. TQ | TEAM INTELLIGENCE is an operating system for Higher Performance teams, but TQ without direction is just a very sophisticated engine with no destination. The multiplication has to be pointed at something—and more importantly, away from something. That's the part most leadership development programs forget entirely. The Diagnosis: The Polite Mediocrity Trap Let's talk about this like adults who've survived enough strategic planning retreats to know the difference between a vision statement and a conviction. Here's what Milwaukee figured out that most educational institutions haven't: being excellent at something requires being honest about what you're against. Milwaukee makes tools for professionals who cannot afford equipment failure under real conditions. That's the for. But the conviction that makes it mean something? They're against the race to the bottom. Against cheap materials dressed up in professional branding. Against the assumption that the person in the field will just deal with it. That against is what makes the for believable. Now walk into most school district or university cabinets and ask: What are we against? Not diplomatically. Not in the language of strategic planning documents. What are you actually done tolerating? You'll hear one of two things. Silence—the professionally calibrated kind, where everyone waits to see who speaks first so they can calibrate their answer. Or a list so abstract it could describe any institution in your state: inequity, mediocrity, the status quo. ("The status quo" is not an oppositional conviction. It's a placeholder dressed up as one. Every institution claims to be against the status quo while carefully maintaining it. If you're against the status quo, name the specific element in your specific institution that you are specifically done accepting. Then watch the room.) The root cause isn't cowardice. It's architecture. Most cabinets have been built—entirely by accident, over years of professional socialization—to reward the performance of alignment and punish genuine conviction. The person who says what they're actually against gets labeled 'difficult.' The person who nods and complains in the parking lot gets labeled 'collegial.' The system selects against exactly what you need. (This is the specific gap THE TEAM INSTITUTE closes—not by making your people better individually, but by building the collective architecture that makes shared conviction possible and safe to name. More on that in a moment.) The Framework: Conviction Architecture Call it the Conviction Architecture. Three dimensions. All required. None of them optional if you want to build something people actually fight to be part of. This isn't complicated. It's just uncomfortable. 1. The Affirmative Conviction — What You're Actually Building Not what you're open to building. Not what you're committed to exploring. What you are actually, specifically, irreversibly building. Here's the test I run with every leader I work with: The Substitution Test. Take your vision statement, your priority framework, your strategic plan—and replace your institution's name with any other institution in your state. Does the document still work? If yes, you don't have a conviction. You have a template. A conviction doesn't survive substitution. "We believe the students in this zip code are capable of competing with any student in this state, and we are done accepting systems that assume otherwise" does not survive substitution. That's a conviction. It names something real, creates real friction, and tells you exactly what the institution is willing to fight for. Milwaukee's affirmative conviction survives substitution. You cannot swap their name into a DeWalt brand statement and have it still be true. The specificity is the point. 2. The Oppositional Conviction — What You're Done Tolerating This is the one most educational leaders refuse to develop publicly. And it is precisely this one that generates loyalty. Think about the leaders in your network who you'd follow anywhere. Every single one of them can tell you—without diplomatic hedging—what they're done tolerating. The assumption that their community's kids are somebody else's problem. The budget process that rewards volume over vision. The professional development ritual that consumes three days per year and changes nothing by the following Monday. They name these things. In public. In front of people who disagree with them. And here's what happens: The people who came for the title or the proximity to power quietly find somewhere else to be. The people who believe in the same things become ferociously loyal—not because they were recruited, but because they were finally in a room where someone said the thing they'd been thinking for years. That's what Milwaukee does with every product decision. They're not trying to be the tool brand for everyone who has ever needed a tool. They're for the professional who needs the equipment to actually work. That specificity makes some people feel excluded. It makes the right people feel seen. The people who feel seen become evangelists. The evangelists bring more people who feel seen. The question for you: What are you done pretending is acceptable?? The answer to that question is the center of your leadership brand. Most leaders never say it out loud. The ones who do build institutions worth following. 3. The Relational Conviction — Who You're Specifically For Cult-level loyalty—the healthy kind—isn't built on quality alone. It's built on the audience's specificity. Milwaukee isn't for every person who has ever held a drill. They're for the professional-grade user who needs equipment that doesn't fail under real conditions. That specificity is what makes their core audience feel genuinely chosen—not accommodated, chosen. Most leaders have been trained to lead for everyone. And while that breadth is appropriate in service delivery, it's corrosive in leadership identity. In cabinet terms: Are you building for the people on your team who are ready to genuinely commit to transformation? Or are you designing initiatives that don't make the least committed person in the room uncomfortable? You cannot do both. The attempt produces exactly the kind of universally-tolerated, nobody-evangelizes-for-it mediocrity that keeps institutions performing at 60% of their actual capacity. The Case Study Let me tell you about a superintendent I'll call Renata. (Not her real name—but Renata, if you're reading this, you've told this story better than I'm about to.) Renata inherited a district led, for eleven years, by a superintendent who was universally well-regarded. Stable board relationships. Decent outcomes. A cabinet that had mastered the art of professional consensus. Nobody was passionate. Nobody was difficult. The district persisted. Renata's first act was not a strategic plan. It was a statement—shared with her cabinet, then her board, then her community—about what her district was done tolerating. She was against the assumption that kids in her zip code couldn't compete academically with those in the wealthier neighboring district. Against professional development that consumed teacher time without producing classroom change. Against administrative processes built for system convenience at the expense of family access. She named these things specifically, publicly, in front of people who were not entirely comfortable hearing them. Two cabinet members who couldn't align with the oppositional conviction left within eighteen months. Renata calls those "the first round of clarity costs." She paid them without drama. Three years later: enrollment grew for the first time in a decade. Not from a marketing campaign. From word of mouth. Families in adjacent districts started talking. Teachers began applying who had heard, through the professional network, that this was a place that knew what it was building. The board member who pushed back hardest in year one told Renata at her third-year evaluation that she was the best hire the board had ever made. Renata didn't build loyalty by being easy to like. She built it by being impossible to mistake. People knew exactly what she was building and exactly what she refused to accept. The people who wanted to build that thing with her became evangelists. Without being asked. If you're reading this thinking, 'I know what I'm against—but my cabinet doesn't share it yet'—that's the specific gap THE TEAM INSTITUTE closes. Shared conviction isn't installed through a memo or a retreat. It's built sequentially, through structured collective development that turns eight individual perspectives into one team that multiplies. Schedule a consultation to explore whether this is the right moment for your cabinet. Whether you work with us or not, here's what you can do Monday morning. The Application: Three Conviction Moves Here's what to do Monday morning (assuming you're not already in crisis mode, in which case, bookmark this and do it Tuesday): Step 1: Write the 'We're Done With' List (20 minutes, alone, before anyone else is in the room) Not a cabinet exercise. Just you. Finish this sentence ten times: "We are done tolerating ________." Don't edit for diplomacy. Write the actual list. The budget process that rewards whoever complains loudest over whoever thinks most clearly. The board dynamic that turns every cabinet meeting into a performance. The strategic initiative that gets launched with full cabinet 'support' and quietly starved of resources by March. Now read the list. The items that make you slightly nervous—the ones where you thought 'I can't actually say that publicly'—circle those. That nervousness is the signal. That's where your real conviction lives. That's the version of your leadership that builds institutions people can't stop talking about. This is the same move Milwaukee made before they built the packout system. They asked: what are we done tolerating in the way professionals organize and transport tools? The answer produced something people 3D-print custom attachments for in their spare time. Your 'done tolerating' list has the same generative potential. Step 2: Run the Substitution Test on Your Strategic Plan (15 minutes) Pull your most recent strategic plan. Replace your institution's name with any other institution in your state. Does the document still work? If yes, you have a placeholder. The conviction isn't in the plan—it's in you. The work is surfacing it, not writing a new plan. Find one sentence in that document that could only be true of your institution, your community, your specific moment. If you can't find one, write one. That sentence is your starting point. Step 3: Say One True Thing in Your Next Cabinet Meeting Just one. In the room. Without the diplomatic hedge at the end. "I want to name something we've been tolerating that I'm no longer willing to tolerate." Then name it specifically. Three things will happen: Someone agrees immediately—that's your first ally. Someone pushes back—that pushback is the most useful data you'll get all month. Or nobody reacts—which means you're in a consent-theater dynamic and you have a different problem to solve first. All three outcomes are more useful than another meeting where everyone nodded and nothing changed by Thursday. Two Objections, Handled: "I can't afford to alienate anyone." You're currently alienating the most committed people on your team by leading as if their conviction has to wait for the least committed person in the room to be ready. That's not caution. That's how you lose your best people to institutions where someone finally said what they were actually building. "My board would never accept this." Renata's board had the same concern. The board member who pushed back hardest is the one who called her the best hire in the district's history. Conviction doesn't lose boards. What loses boards is a leader who can't articulate what they're building clearly enough for the board to get behind it. The Maturity Shift Immature leaders think: "My job is to build consensus around a shared vision." Mature leaders think: "My job is to build a shared conviction strong enough to hold when consensus breaks down." Immature leaders make the vision broad enough that nobody can disagree with it. Mature leaders make the conviction specific enough that only the right people can commit to it. Immature leaders celebrate a full room. Mature leaders ask why everyone in the room describes a different institution when you ask what they're building. Here's the uncomfortable truth: A team without shared conviction doesn't multiply. It averages. Eight individually excellent people, each carrying their own unspoken direction, produce the mean of those directions. The safest course. The least offensive. The least transformative. The one that keeps the district or university exactly where it is while consuming 100% of everyone's capacity to keep it there. The 987 leadership teams in our research who moved from 60% capacity to 90% capacity didn't get there by becoming individually smarter. They got there by developing a shared conviction about what they were building—and what they were done accepting—and multiplying that conviction together. That's what TEAM INTELLIGENCE actually means when it works: not eight people performing alignment, but eight people genuinely committed to the same thing. Sequential investment creates compounding conviction. The Milwaukee packout didn't become a cult object because the first box was remarkable. It became one because every subsequent piece was designed to fit into and enhance what came before. Your cabinet works the same way. Your turn: What's one thing your institution is genuinely against—not officially, not diplomatically, but actually against—that has never been named out loud in a cabinet meeting? Drop it in the comments. Not for performance. Because naming it is the first step to building a team that shares it. Tag someone who you've watched lead with a backbone—someone who says the true thing in the room where it costs something to say it. They deserve to be recognized for it. THE TEAM INSTITUTE Most leadership development programs spend eight hours building individual capacity and return your cabinet to a collective system designed to neutralize exactly what they just developed. Your people come back sharper. They return to a meeting culture that hasn't changed. The individual work doesn't transfer. You know this. You've watched it happen. You've paid for it more than once. THE TEAM INSTITUTE is an 8-month developmental journey that builds what your cabinet is actually missing—not individual skill, but collective architecture. The trust that makes honest conviction safe to name. The shared language that makes it portable across the team. The sequential development—from individual clarity to collective commitment to organizational multiplication—that turns eight excellent individuals into a team that genuinely compounds. Month by month, your cabinet builds what no single training or retreat ever produced: a shared operating system with a shared direction. The kind where someone on your team becomes an unpaid evangelist for what you're building—not because you asked them to, but because they finally found something worth talking about. From our research across 987 leadership teams : 3x performance improvement. 29% higher engagement. 27% better organizational outcomes. Zero burnout increase. One requirement: full leadership team participation. Partial conviction is not conviction. It's a majority position. If you recognize the gap between what you're building and what your team has actually committed to—schedule a 30-minute consultation to explore whether THE TEAM INSTITUTE is the right intervention for your cabinet right now. This is a conversation between people who are done tolerating leadership development that returns brilliant individuals to a broken collective system and calls the investment complete. https://www.higherperformancegroup.com/team-institute Found Value in This? Help other leaders find it: → Repost with the one thing your institution is actually against that's never been named publicly. The leaders who read this need to know they're not alone in carrying that conviction. → @Tag a leader with a backbone. Someone you've watched say the true thing in the room where it cost something to say it. Name them specifically. → Comment with your Substitution Test result: Does your strategic plan survive having your name replaced with any other institution in your state? Yes or No. The comments will tell you something about your peers you won't hear anywhere else. The more leaders who move from performed alignment to shared conviction, the better our educational institutions become. Follow DR. JOE HILL and Higher Performance Group for weekly Team Intelligence insights. Next Issue "Your Cabinet Doesn't Actually Disagree With You (And That's the Problem)" We'll explore why the most dangerous dynamic in educational leadership isn't conflict—it's the professional performance of agreement, while the real conversation happens in the parking lot.  Spoiler: Your last strategic plan didn't die in implementation. It died the moment everyone nodded, and nobody meant it.
By HPG Info March 17, 2026
THE SPRING BREAK 2026 REVEAL A short dispatch from Tucson — and the most honest picture of burnout I've ever seen ☀️ Tucson. Spring break. Bear Down country. Ms. Becky and I buzzed to dinner at one of our favorite spots near the Catalinas. Good food, great views, the kind of evening you actually protect on your calendar. We pull into the parking lot. I open my door. And I stop. Because the car next to ours has a spare tire mounted on the back that is — there is no other word for it — destroyed. Shredded down to the steel belts. Rubber hanging off the rim in thick, ragged strips like something took a bite out of it. It doesn't look like a blowout. It looks like the tire lost a long argument with physics and physics won decisively. I pull out my phone. Ms. Becky does the thing she does — that specific eye roll that communicates, with remarkable efficiency: "Joe. Could you just. Not." 
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