Like You, I'm Trying To Do The "Vacation Thing” Better

July 5, 2022

A college president dropped into a team meeting I was facilitating last week, and her team said, “Hey, I thought you were on vacation this week.” The president said, “I’m struggling to stay away.”


Most leaders I know struggle with taking vacations of any kind.


I’m curious if you do because I am planning a bit of a sabbatical in July, and I’m not sure I REALLY want to. 


It’s been an epic battle for me over the years.


I LOVE THE WORK.

Many leaders never take a real break. As a result, they end up breaking.


Instead, we cheat (like the college leader mentioned above). You cheat yourself (and your family) by popping on email for an hour every morning. Or by checking in with staff to see if anything’s on fire.


Or maybe you’ve done a “working vacation” (oxymoron) to work on a big project or write a book.


I’ve done all those things, but lately, I’ve been TRYING to be more intentional about taking more real vacations and real breaks.


Like you, I’m trying to do the “vacation thing” better. 


The more driven you are, the more this truth is for you. 


These are some things I’ve experienced in my attempts to gear down over the past year. 

1. Discomfort

When you’re constantly busy, you get used to a fast pace and the hum of always having something needing your attention.


When you take a real break, the quiet outside reveals the disquiet within you.


Pay attention to the discomfort but don’t give into it. Don’t race to fill the stillness with activity. 


Embrace it.


Inside the quiet, you’ll discover a wealth of ideas:

➜ Issues you need to work through.

➜ Fears you need to confront.

➜ Possibilities you never dreamed of before.

➜ You! A fully present and authentic YOU.


If you don’t give in to the discomfort and linger in the silence and quiet long enough, you’ll learn to lead from peace.


As the famous mystic and poet Rumi said, "The soul has been given its ears to hear things the mind does not understand."


Take the discomfort of quiet as a gift and trust that it has something for you. 


2. A Sense Of Being Lost

If you’re used to running at a fast pace, you won’t know exactly what to do with yourself, and you might feel a bit lost. 


That’s totally ok. 


If you do this well, you’ll eventually find a deeper and more mature you. In addition to lingering in the stillness, resist the urge to fill the void with a surge of activity.


Allowing yourself to feel lost will help you find a restored you.


The inner battle is where all growth emerges.


3. Productivity Shame

Productivity shame is what you feel when your life goes from 110 mph to zero overnight.

So, what is productivity shame exactly?


According to the leaders at Rescue Time, first, it’s the feeling that you’ve never done enough. No matter how many hours you work or how many tasks you cross off your to-do list, you always feel a sense of shame around your work. You keep thinking you could have done more.


Second, productivity shame is the feeling that you aren’t allowed to do “unproductive” things. You feel a sense of guilt when you spend time on hobbies, watch a movie, or simply sit back and relax.


Oh, this is killing me! 


You?


4. Tears

Yes, tears. “why on earth am I crying when I’m supposed to be on vacation” tears.

If this is your first foray into being completely off work since the kickoff of the pandemic, then all three factors above may likely lead to tears.


Surprisingly, a good cry signals that you are doing the vacation thing right.


The quiet, discomfort and failure to give in to productivity shame mean you’re giving the silence space to do its work.


The first few times I really unplugged, I learned things about myself (my anger, my achievement addiction, the adrenaline junkie I’d become).

 

And yes, it led to tears. And then therapy and coaching and eventually, to freedom.


The worst thing you can do when you find yourself getting emotional when you’re disconnecting is to shake it off and do what we mid-westerners do… We bury it. 


Let it surface. Surrender to it. 


It’s called growth.


5. A New Baseline

Who are you when you’re fully rested?


My guess is you have no idea how to answer it because the last time you were fully rested, you didn’t have all your permanent teeth in your mouth.


Over the years, I’ve been experimenting with finding my ‘baseline,’ which is how I feel, behave, and approach life when I’m in my non-anxious presence. 


Finding your baseline is a little like the science of speedometer calibration. A speedometer is accurate because it’s calibrated to tell you whether you’re going 35 or 75. 


If the calibration is off, so is your reading.


Many driven leaders lead like their baselines are calibrated to 50 mph. They live at 70-90 mph most of the time. On the weekend, they might come down to 60 or 50 and think, “there, I’m rested.”


But they have no idea there’s even a 20 mph, or 10, or zero. They have no idea who they are deeply rested.


How do you find your baseline?


Take enough time off to sleep and rest until you’re no longer tired. Eat well, exercise, and nap as often as you need to until you’re ‘caught up. Relax, unwind, and get fully rested. Note: This might take a few weeks. Then see who you are.

  • How do you feel?
  • How are you treating other people?
  • What do you enjoy?
  • Who are you now?


That’s your baseline.


The way to do that is to live in a way today that helps you thrive tomorrow. I can show you how to do that here.

 

Find your baseline and get back to it regularly; the next vacation won’t be nearly as hard.


RECLAIM IT!

As we move into the midpoint of summer, you can almost hear that collective “what-the…” from campus leaders across the country. 


Who’s been able to take a break yet?


I had a college president who told me that she “HOPES” to take the 4th of July off “IF” she can complete all her hiring.


I feel her pain and yours. 


The challenges left in the wake of these past two years have many leaders taking extended leave and others left to do most of the work. 


The question is, “is it sustainable?”


I know how much this summer break is needed, and I trust that your calendar has some dates marked off for you to truly get away. 


But don’t be fooled. 


I’m here to remind you that many of those same problems and issues will await you and your team when you return in the fall.   


Leaders hate when I say this (while they shake their heads in agreement), but managing crisis was challenging but leading OUT of crisis will be much more complex and demanding. 


Healthy leaders and teams will be in high demand to build (not rebuild) the plans and strategies to navigate the uncharted territory ahead. 


You need to take action and Reclaim Your Momentum!


You may be one of the hundreds who requested and downloaded my free guide on reclaiming your momentum in the past few weeks and months. The feedback I’ve received from so many of you continues to be overwhelming. 


Because of that, I’m going on tour. 


I’ve turned this essential topic into a 2-hour LIVE keynote that I’m delivering to campus leadership teams across the county this summer and fall. 


If you’re like most campus leaders, you’ve spent countless hours these past years putting out fires, dealing with negativity, drama, and just plain old burnout across the board. 


And, like so many others, you’re fed up with feeling stuck. 


It’s time to take action.


For a limited time, I’m offering an Early Bird Discount for campuses that book our new 2-hour live keynote before July 30th! 


Click here for the details.


What are you waiting for?


It would be an honor to be your guide and help you and your team regain lost ground and Reclaim Your Momentum. 


Joe


Dr. Joe Hill 

Founder, Higher Performance Group


P.S. Be sure to share this email with a team member or fellow leaders across your network who could use a nudge of inspiration and challenge. Together we can help raise the waterline of hope, stability, trust, and compassion for those doing the most good across our learning communities. 


Click here to learn more.



See What Reclaim Your Momentum {LIVE} is All About

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By HPG Info July 14, 2026
The Case for Standards-Based Leadership Think back to tenth grade for a second. The B+ in Chemistry. The C in Algebra II from the teacher who clearly had a grudge against fourth period. The A in gym you didn't earn through anything resembling cardiovascular achievement. Honest question: did that grade measure what you knew — or how well you'd learned to play the game? The extra-credit packet. The teacher you charmed. The final you crammed for at 1 a.m. and forgot by June. Honk once if you believed those grades were objective. Honk ten times if you're being honest.  Most of us spent thirteen years being sorted by a system we now know, as the adults running it, was subjective, inconsistent, and occasionally just vibes. That's exactly why so many of you are doing the hard, unpopular work of standards-based grading right now — proficiency over averages, evidence over guesswork, a report card a parent can actually defend at the dinner table. Good instinct. Now ask yourself the same question about your cabinet. THE GOOD NEWS. THE BAD NEWS. Let's talk about this like adults who've sat through enough grading-policy town halls to know exactly how loud the "back in my day, a C meant something" crowd gets. Here's the good news: you're not imagining the shift. Districts across the country are actively exploring standards-based grading. In pockets — New Hampshire, Maine, Wisconsin, more recently Connecticut, New Mexico, Oregon — it's not a pilot anymore. It's policy. Here's the honest part. Exploring it and doing it are not the same sentence. The most detailed statewide look available — a recent survey out of Wyoming — found that only 10% of middle schools and 5% of high schools had fully implemented standards-based grading. More than half of middle schools had "begun" the shift. Begun is not arrived. Everyone's talking. A tenth of the room is actually doing it. (Sound familiar? It should. You're about to read the exact same gap in your cabinet.) Higher ed's version is smaller, but real. North of 1,500 institutions nationally have built out competency-based programs — concentrated in nursing, computer science, community colleges, the places where "can you actually do the thing" has always mattered more than seat time. Good news: it exists. Bad news: that's a rounding error against roughly 4,000 degree-granting institutions in this country. So both sectors are — unevenly, slowly, sometimes reluctantly — having the standards-based conversation about students. Here's the conversation nobody at either level is having: standards-based leadership. What are the standards for your cabinet? Not the job description HR pulled from a template in 2014. Not the vague "strong communicator, collaborative, strategic" language every posting uses. The actual, observable standards that tell you whether your VP of Instruction is on track, exceeding, or quietly underperforming a competency she's never once been assessed against. If you can't name them, you don't have a leadership standard. You have a job title and a hope. You almost certainly evaluate every cabinet member once a year. If you can't say, right now, which competency each of them is actually operating at — that's not a documentation gap. That's a year of development spent guessing at a target nobody wrote down. TQ = IQ × EQ × PQ. You cannot standards-base a formula you've never written the rubric for. (This is precisely the gap THE TEAM INSTITUTE was built to close — not with another workshop, but with the actual standard, the evidence, and the sequence to develop against it. More on that shortly.) THE STANDARD The IQ Competency Architecture: What Standards-Based Leadership Actually Requires A real standard does three things: it names the competency, it defines what mastery looks like in observable behavior, and it tells you exactly where someone stands right now — novice, developing, proficient, exceeding. That's the whole model your teachers are already using. Nobody had built the leadership version. So we did. HPG's IQ Leader Competency Assessment maps seven leadership competencies in the order they must be built — not the order they appear on an org chart, but the order the science of trust and cognition says they have to develop, or the structure above them stays fragile. Every level, 1 (Novice) through 5 (Expert), is tied to observable evidence. Not a feeling. Not tenure. A standard. 1. Building Trust — the oxygen of Team Intelligence. Without it, empowerment is abandonment, collaboration is theater, and conflict management is suppression wearing a nicer vocabulary. A leader can sit through a dozen workshops on trust and still be demonstrating Level 2 — reliable, but visibly allergic to vulnerability. TQ IMPLICATION → a cabinet stuck at Level 1–2 Trust cannot multiply anything. EQ approaches zero, and the equation collapses regardless of how much IQ is in the room. 2. Empowerment — Trust's direct descendant. This is the superintendent who says "I trust my principals" and still calls three of them before 7:30 a.m. on the first day of school. (In a provost's office, it's the committee that hasn't produced an original recommendation in three years, because everyone knows the Provost overrides anything she doesn't personally like. Coincidence is not a thing.) TQ IMPLICATION → empowerment without trust is distributed responsibility without distributed authority. 3. Collaboration — where individual intelligence becomes Team Intelligence. This is the meeting with the agenda, the nodding, and the parking-lot conversation afterward where the actual decision gets made by the two people who said the least in the room. TQ IMPLICATION → PQ, Perceptual Intelligence, is what separates a high-performing cabinet from high-performing individuals who happen to share a conference room. 4–7. Broadening Influence, Change Management, Conflict Management, Developing Others. Same sequential logic, no exceptions. You cannot broaden influence you haven't collaborated your way into. You cannot lead real change without Trust, Empowerment, and Collaboration already load-bearing. Attempting Level 5 work from a Level 2 foundation isn't ambition — it's assigning calculus to a room that hasn't mastered fractions. The effort is genuine. The outcome is fragile. Let me tell you about a superintendent I'll call Jordan. (Not his real name — but Jordan, if you're reading this, your CFO is reading this too, and you both know exactly which retreat I mean.) Jordan's cabinet of eight averaged eleven years of tenure and four doctorates between them. On paper, a senior, credentialed team. Against an actual standard, a Level 2.5 team attempting Level 4 work — initiatives that launched with real energy and were quietly dead by day ninety, a superintendent who felt, privately and exhaustingly, like the only adult in the room. Nobody had ever assessed this cabinet against anything. They'd been observed, rated on a template, and sent to conferences — never mapped against a sequential standard. When Jordan finally ran the assessment, three of his eight cabinet members tested Level 2 on Trust — the foundation everything else was stacked on top of. His longest-serving Deputy Superintendent, twenty-three years in, tested Level 1 on Developing Others. Not because she didn't care. Because no one had ever shown her what Level 3 looked like. Ten months of sequential development later — Trust before Empowerment, Empowerment before Collaboration, in that order, not the order that felt urgent — Jordan's cabinet averaged Level 3.8 across all seven competencies. I spent six years managing performance I didn't have a standard for. Now I have one. That's the difference between activity and productivity. The higher ed version has a different name and the same root cause. Celeste, a Provost with a national research reputation and a cabinet full of individually brilliant people, ran the most reliably miserable six-week budget cycle in her institution's history — every year — because nobody on that team had ever been assessed against anything more rigorous than a publication count. Same standard. Same sequence. Different letterhead. THE APPLICATION Here's what to do Monday morning (assuming you're not mid-crisis, in which case bookmark this and do it Tuesday): Move 1 — Write the standard down (30 minutes). Pull up the seven domains. For every cabinet member — yourself included — answer one question with specificity: what level are they demonstrating, based on observable behavior in the last ninety days? Not tenure. Not credential. Not potential. (K–12: can your assistant superintendent facilitate real conflict between two principals with competing visions, or does she manage it by scheduling a follow-up that resolves nothing? Higher ed: is your Dean's 24-hour-notice agenda distribution Level 4 Collaboration, or Level 2 coordination wearing the name of the former?) If you can't answer with specifics, that's the finding. You've been developing without a standard. Move 2 — Say the sequence out loud. At your next cabinet meeting, offer one idea: competencies build on each other, and you cannot shortcut Trust and still expect authentic Collaboration to show up. Then ask the room — and actually hold the silence — "Which foundational competency on this team isn't fully built yet, and what have we been stacking on top of it?" Don't answer it for them. The room that discovers its own gap starts closing it. Move 3 — Make growth visible, the same way you're asking teachers to. When someone moves from Level 2 to Level 3 on Conflict Management, say so, specifically, immediately. "I watched you hold that disagreement between your two directors open long enough for the room to find its own resolution. A year ago, you'd have scheduled a follow-up instead." Seven minutes. Highest-ROI leadership move on this list, and it costs nothing but attention. "We already do evaluations. This is redundant." You already did the math on this one two sections ago — you evaluate outcomes, you don't assess developmental competency, and that gap is exactly what's costing you a year at a time. Your evaluation rubric can't tell you whether your CFO is Level 2 or Level 4 on Empowerment, or that Trust is the actual foundation your strategic plan keeps failing to stand on. Your students get a grade and a standard. Your cabinet has been getting only one of those. "My cabinet won't respond well to being scored 1 through 5." Your students didn't respond well to standards-based grading in September either — until they saw their own growth mapped in language that actually meant something. The leaders who resist a standard the hardest are almost always the ones operating at Level 2 while carrying Level 4 expectations. Resistance isn't a personality problem. It's data, telling you exactly where to start. THE MATURITY SHIFT 📄 Immature leaders think: Tenure is mastery. My experienced people don't need a standard. 🎯 Mature leaders think: Experience tells me what someone survived. A standard tells me what they actually built. 📋 Immature leaders: evaluate performance once a year and wonder why development doesn't stick. 🗺️ Mature leaders: name the standard, assess against it, and benchmark growth — exactly what they're asking every teacher in the building to do for a ninth grader. 🔄 Immature leaders: develop cabinet members individually and hope it transfers to collective performance. There is no research universe where this works. ✖️ Mature leaders: build the sequential architecture that turns individual growth into Team Intelligence — because when any factor in IQ × EQ × PQ approaches zero, so does the whole product. You already believe in the research on standards-based grading. You've staked your professional credibility on the idea that averaging a student's journey produces a number that reveals nothing and guides nothing. Your cabinet is still being averaged. Score your own cabinet, right now, 1 through 5, on Building Trust — the one everything else stacks on top of. Drop the number in the comments. No explanation required. Just the number. If the number is a 4 or 5, tell us which competency it took the longest to earn. If it's a 2, you've just found where Monday morning starts. THE TEAM INSTITUTE Most leadership development runs on a theory that is philosophically identical to the grading system you already dismantled for students: assess once if at all, average performance across years of tenure, call the result a measure of competency. THE TEAM INSTITUTE is the standards-based alternative — an 8-month sequential development journey built on the same premise you're building into your classrooms and your credentialing programs: name the standard, assess against it, develop in the order the science demands, and make growth visible enough to sustain itself. Baseline Assessment. Every cabinet enters with a mapped starting point across all seven competencies — an objective level, with observable evidence, for where every leader actually is right now. Sequential Collective Development. Eight months, competency by competency, in the order the research demands — Trust before Empowerment, Empowerment before Collaboration — because you can't build the third floor before the second floor is structurally sound. 90-Day Benchmarking. Growth that's visible, specific, and tied to observable behavior sustains itself. Growth that's invisible gets quietly averaged away and relabeled "still developing." The research anchor, across 987 leadership teams in 43 states, translates to something more concrete than a percentage: cabinets that run this sequence typically move from closing one major initiative a year to closing three — the actual, felt difference between a 3x performance improvement and a strategic plan that reads well but doesn't move. 📈 3× performance improvement 💡 29% higher engagement — the gap that used to only surface in an exit interview, closing before anyone's handing one in 🎯 27% better organizational outcomes 🔥 Zero increase in burnout — the sequence works because it replaces guessing with a standard, not because it asks anyone to do more One requirement: full cabinet participation. Partial collective architecture isn't architecture — it's a majority position wearing the name of a team. You don't have to take my word for any of this. If you want to see where your own team stands before you decide anything, start with the free Team Intelligence Assessment — fifteen minutes, no cabinet required, just an honest first read on where your leadership currently sits against the standard: higherperformancegroup.com/tq-assessment If all of this is worth a real conversation, book a virtual coffee (with me 😊) using this link: https://calendly.com/higherperformance/30minutecoffee AMPLIFICATION Found value here? Help another educational leader find it: → Repost with the number you scored your cabinet on Trust, and the one word that number made you feel. → Tag a leader you've watched genuinely move a competency level this year — not sit through something, do something they couldn't twelve months ago. → Comment with the one competency your cabinet is strongest in, and the one an honest 1–5 assessment would sting on. The more educational leaders who move from development activity to development standards, the better our schools and our institutions become. That's not inspiration. That's arithmetic. Follow DR. JOE HILL and Higher Performance Group for weekly Team Intelligence insights.
By HPG Info July 7, 2026
And summer break isn't going to fix it. It's July 5th. You're reading this the morning after fireworks, probably with a cup of coffee you actually had time to finish for once. And somewhere in the back of your mind, you've already decided that this stretch — these six or seven weeks before the building fills back up — is going to fix what's broken in your cabinet. It's not going to fix it. I need you to hear this from someone who isn't trying to sell you on a vacation: rest is not the same thing as repair. Your team can come back in August more tan and less tired and still be carrying the exact same structural weight they were carrying in May. Because the thing that's breaking them isn't a depletion problem. It's an architecture problem. And architecture doesn't rebuild itself while everyone's at the lake. Keep reading. This one's for the leader who knows something's off and has been hoping the calendar would solve it. — — — You Don't Have a Resilience Problem Here's what's actually happening, in plain terms. You've got people on your cabinet — maybe it's you, probably it's you — who are waking up tired before they've even gotten out of bed. Not tired from a long week. Tired in a way sleep doesn't touch anymore. You've got people performing confidence in the 2:00 meeting and sitting in their car afterward wondering if any of it was real. You've got people who used to love this work and now just do it. Same title, same competence, completely different relationship to the job. That's not burnout the way your professional development catalog talks about it — protect your boundaries, try a gratitude journal. That's a measurable force acting on people who were never given a system designed to hold it. 📊 63% of professionals are showing at least one sign of burnout right now — up from 51% just a few years ago. That's not a vibe. That's a structural shift in working conditions, and your cabinet is standing directly inside it. Burnout doesn't go after the disengaged. It goes after the deeply invested. Here's the part that should unsettle you a little: it's not hitting your weakest people. It's hitting your best ones. The ones who care most are the ones who absorb the most — because they're the least likely to say no without writing a three-page justification for why they're allowed to. Which means the person carrying the most weight on your cabinet right now is probably the one you'd never think to worry about. Because they're still performing fine. TQ IMPLICATION → When the Burnout Force suppresses any one dimension of TQ = IQ × EQ × PQ — and it almost always hits EQ first — eight brilliant people quietly become eight exhausted individuals trying not to show it. — — — Why This Week, Not September If your plan is "we'll regroup over the summer," you're going to walk your team right back into the exact same conditions in August — just rested enough to absorb them a little longer — while your best people quietly do the math on whether this is still worth it. I've watched it happen more times than I can count. The cabinet member who's three months from the door doesn't leave because they stopped believing in the mission. They leave because nobody ever rebuilt the structure that was supposed to hold them up. This window — right now, this stretch between the 4th and the first board meeting of the fall — is the only time your whole team is actually together, away from the daily fires, with enough margin to do something structural instead of something cosmetic. It's short. It's closing. Once the building fills back up in August, this conversation gets ten times harder, because everyone's back in survival mode and there's no room left to rebuild anything. ❌ Immature: "We'll regroup once things slow down." ✅ Mature: "We'll rebuild the architecture while we actually have the room to do it." — — — What Actually Works (And What Doesn't) You can't fix a collective architecture problem by sending three people to a conference and hoping it trickles down. It doesn't trickle down. It just creates one more person on your cabinet who's seen the framework and is now alone trying to translate it for everyone else. That's not a solution — it's a more sophisticated version of the same isolation. What works is your whole team in the room at the same time, hearing the same language, naming the same forces, in the same moment — so the isolation breaks immediately instead of getting passed down secondhand. I had a superintendent tell me, six months after we did this work together: "I feel like I'm leading again instead of surviving." Same district. Same challenges. Different architecture for who's allowed to carry what. (This is exactly the gap The Burnout Force keynote was built to close — not by making individuals more resilient, but by giving your entire cabinet a shared language for the forces acting on all of them, at the same time, in the same room. More on that below.) — — — The Maturity Shift Immature leaders think: "I need to push through this. Resilience is the answer." Mature leaders think: "I need to understand what I'm pushing against — and whether I'm designed to push against it alone." Immature leaders absorb the force as a personal experience and add another morning routine. Mature leaders name the force structurally and build the conditions where it gets distributed instead of concentrated. From our research across 987 leadership teams: 3× performance improvement. 29% higher engagement. 27% better outcomes. Zero burnout increase — when the architecture gets rebuilt instead of the individual. Your turn: Who on your cabinet is carrying the most right now — and does your team even know it? Name them in your head. Then ask yourself if you'd actually planned to do anything about it before August. — — — Let's Get This on the Calendar Before the Building Fills Back Up Here's what I'd want for you if I were your friend: get your whole cabinet — or your whole staff, if that's the room you've got this summer — in front of this before the fall calendar swallows you again. Not a resilience talk. A structural reframe about why the weight keeps landing on the same people, and what it would take to actually distribute it. I built the Burnout Force keynote for exactly this room, this time of year, this exact decision point. I'd rather have this conversation with you now, while you still have a retreat date open, than in October — when your best person hands you their notice and you're trying to figure out what happened. Full cabinet or full-staff keynote experience. Built for leaders done treating a structural problem as a personal failing. If that's the room you're trying to build this summer, let's talk this week — not in the fall. 📅 Grab 30 minutes: calendly.com/higherperformance/30minutecoffee 📞 Or just email: ✉️ joe@higherperformancegroup.com Your people aren't broken. The system they're operating inside is. And you've got about six weeks to do something about it before the building fills back up. — — — Found value in this? → Repost with the one force you watched hit your cabinet hardest this year. → Tag a leader you know is carrying more than they should be carrying alone — over this holiday weekend especially. → Comment with what your summer plan actually was, before you read this. The more leaders who move from individual resilience to collective architecture, the stronger our institutions become. Follow DR. JOE HILL and Higher Performance Group for weekly Team Intelligence insights.  #CancelAverage
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