Like You, I'm Trying To Do The "Vacation Thing” Better

July 5, 2022

A college president dropped into a team meeting I was facilitating last week, and her team said, “Hey, I thought you were on vacation this week.” The president said, “I’m struggling to stay away.”


Most leaders I know struggle with taking vacations of any kind.


I’m curious if you do because I am planning a bit of a sabbatical in July, and I’m not sure I REALLY want to. 


It’s been an epic battle for me over the years.


I LOVE THE WORK.

Many leaders never take a real break. As a result, they end up breaking.


Instead, we cheat (like the college leader mentioned above). You cheat yourself (and your family) by popping on email for an hour every morning. Or by checking in with staff to see if anything’s on fire.


Or maybe you’ve done a “working vacation” (oxymoron) to work on a big project or write a book.


I’ve done all those things, but lately, I’ve been TRYING to be more intentional about taking more real vacations and real breaks.


Like you, I’m trying to do the “vacation thing” better. 


The more driven you are, the more this truth is for you. 


These are some things I’ve experienced in my attempts to gear down over the past year. 

1. Discomfort

When you’re constantly busy, you get used to a fast pace and the hum of always having something needing your attention.


When you take a real break, the quiet outside reveals the disquiet within you.


Pay attention to the discomfort but don’t give into it. Don’t race to fill the stillness with activity. 


Embrace it.


Inside the quiet, you’ll discover a wealth of ideas:

➜ Issues you need to work through.

➜ Fears you need to confront.

➜ Possibilities you never dreamed of before.

➜ You! A fully present and authentic YOU.


If you don’t give in to the discomfort and linger in the silence and quiet long enough, you’ll learn to lead from peace.


As the famous mystic and poet Rumi said, "The soul has been given its ears to hear things the mind does not understand."


Take the discomfort of quiet as a gift and trust that it has something for you. 


2. A Sense Of Being Lost

If you’re used to running at a fast pace, you won’t know exactly what to do with yourself, and you might feel a bit lost. 


That’s totally ok. 


If you do this well, you’ll eventually find a deeper and more mature you. In addition to lingering in the stillness, resist the urge to fill the void with a surge of activity.


Allowing yourself to feel lost will help you find a restored you.


The inner battle is where all growth emerges.


3. Productivity Shame

Productivity shame is what you feel when your life goes from 110 mph to zero overnight.

So, what is productivity shame exactly?


According to the leaders at Rescue Time, first, it’s the feeling that you’ve never done enough. No matter how many hours you work or how many tasks you cross off your to-do list, you always feel a sense of shame around your work. You keep thinking you could have done more.


Second, productivity shame is the feeling that you aren’t allowed to do “unproductive” things. You feel a sense of guilt when you spend time on hobbies, watch a movie, or simply sit back and relax.


Oh, this is killing me! 


You?


4. Tears

Yes, tears. “why on earth am I crying when I’m supposed to be on vacation” tears.

If this is your first foray into being completely off work since the kickoff of the pandemic, then all three factors above may likely lead to tears.


Surprisingly, a good cry signals that you are doing the vacation thing right.


The quiet, discomfort and failure to give in to productivity shame mean you’re giving the silence space to do its work.


The first few times I really unplugged, I learned things about myself (my anger, my achievement addiction, the adrenaline junkie I’d become).

 

And yes, it led to tears. And then therapy and coaching and eventually, to freedom.


The worst thing you can do when you find yourself getting emotional when you’re disconnecting is to shake it off and do what we mid-westerners do… We bury it. 


Let it surface. Surrender to it. 


It’s called growth.


5. A New Baseline

Who are you when you’re fully rested?


My guess is you have no idea how to answer it because the last time you were fully rested, you didn’t have all your permanent teeth in your mouth.


Over the years, I’ve been experimenting with finding my ‘baseline,’ which is how I feel, behave, and approach life when I’m in my non-anxious presence. 


Finding your baseline is a little like the science of speedometer calibration. A speedometer is accurate because it’s calibrated to tell you whether you’re going 35 or 75. 


If the calibration is off, so is your reading.


Many driven leaders lead like their baselines are calibrated to 50 mph. They live at 70-90 mph most of the time. On the weekend, they might come down to 60 or 50 and think, “there, I’m rested.”


But they have no idea there’s even a 20 mph, or 10, or zero. They have no idea who they are deeply rested.


How do you find your baseline?


Take enough time off to sleep and rest until you’re no longer tired. Eat well, exercise, and nap as often as you need to until you’re ‘caught up. Relax, unwind, and get fully rested. Note: This might take a few weeks. Then see who you are.

  • How do you feel?
  • How are you treating other people?
  • What do you enjoy?
  • Who are you now?


That’s your baseline.


The way to do that is to live in a way today that helps you thrive tomorrow. I can show you how to do that here.

 

Find your baseline and get back to it regularly; the next vacation won’t be nearly as hard.


RECLAIM IT!

As we move into the midpoint of summer, you can almost hear that collective “what-the…” from campus leaders across the country. 


Who’s been able to take a break yet?


I had a college president who told me that she “HOPES” to take the 4th of July off “IF” she can complete all her hiring.


I feel her pain and yours. 


The challenges left in the wake of these past two years have many leaders taking extended leave and others left to do most of the work. 


The question is, “is it sustainable?”


I know how much this summer break is needed, and I trust that your calendar has some dates marked off for you to truly get away. 


But don’t be fooled. 


I’m here to remind you that many of those same problems and issues will await you and your team when you return in the fall.   


Leaders hate when I say this (while they shake their heads in agreement), but managing crisis was challenging but leading OUT of crisis will be much more complex and demanding. 


Healthy leaders and teams will be in high demand to build (not rebuild) the plans and strategies to navigate the uncharted territory ahead. 


You need to take action and Reclaim Your Momentum!


You may be one of the hundreds who requested and downloaded my free guide on reclaiming your momentum in the past few weeks and months. The feedback I’ve received from so many of you continues to be overwhelming. 


Because of that, I’m going on tour. 


I’ve turned this essential topic into a 2-hour LIVE keynote that I’m delivering to campus leadership teams across the county this summer and fall. 


If you’re like most campus leaders, you’ve spent countless hours these past years putting out fires, dealing with negativity, drama, and just plain old burnout across the board. 


And, like so many others, you’re fed up with feeling stuck. 


It’s time to take action.


For a limited time, I’m offering an Early Bird Discount for campuses that book our new 2-hour live keynote before July 30th! 


Click here for the details.


What are you waiting for?


It would be an honor to be your guide and help you and your team regain lost ground and Reclaim Your Momentum. 


Joe


Dr. Joe Hill 

Founder, Higher Performance Group


P.S. Be sure to share this email with a team member or fellow leaders across your network who could use a nudge of inspiration and challenge. Together we can help raise the waterline of hope, stability, trust, and compassion for those doing the most good across our learning communities. 


Click here to learn more.



See What Reclaim Your Momentum {LIVE} is All About

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By HPG Info August 3, 2026
K-12 or higher ed — same grave, same fight, and where we actually stand on it. Every August, someone in a lanyard stands in front of a room full of exhausted adults — a superintendent at convocation, a provost at the fall address — and says some version of “this is the year everything changes.” Everyone claps. Nobody believes it. By October, both rooms are right back where they started, for the exact same structural reason, just wearing different institutional colors. You know the K-12 version of the grave: the PD-day initiative that had its own hashtag in August and hasn't been mentioned since the first snow day. You know the higher-ed version: the strategic plan the board approved 7-0, the one nobody on the provost's council could name a completed goal from by homecoming. Same grave. Different landscaping. Here's what should actually keep you pacing in your office more than enrollment or the sub shortage. Gallup's 2023 workforce data puts global disengagement at 62% . MIT's Human Dynamics Lab found fragmented teams burn up to 60% of their energy on coordination — meetings about meetings, not the work. Harvard economist Sendhil Mullainathan's research on scarcity found that operating under constant shortage costs the brain the functional equivalent of 13 IQ points . Thirteen. That's the gap between your sharpest VP and someone who forgot the agenda. One more, because it should make you genuinely angry: training-transfer research going back three decades puts the share of professional learning that ever makes it into practice at under 10% . Every PD day. Every retreat. Every conference you sent three people to in July. You're not underfunding development. You're funding an extremely expensive form of forgetting. None of this is a motivation problem. Your people aren't lazy or allergic to change. They're operating inside a system quietly taxing them on seven fronts before they've poured their first cup of coffee in the building. And if it doesn't get named this year, it isn't just this year that pays for it. It's whoever inherits your seat. It's the kid in the back row, the freshman three weeks into a dorm, the faculty member who stopped raising a hand two years ago and nobody noticed. The cost has names. So here's where we stand, plainly, because none of this works if you don't know it. WE ARE FOR HEALTHY TEAMS AND HIGHLY RELIABLE SYSTEMS. That's the HPG brand, in five words. WE ARE AGAINST THE SYSTEMS THAT ACCELERATE BURNOUT — the ones that train your best people to mistake exhaustion for commitment, reward the loudest voice over the best idea, and quietly bill the people who care most for continuing to care. Not the board. Not the budget. THE SYSTEM itself. We didn't build this to run another workshop. We built it to fight for both ends of that equation — the leader carrying it, and the kid, the freshman, the faculty member on the other side who never got a vote in how well the system was built. Pick a side. We already have. Here's what FOR actually looks like, not hypothetically — we've watched it happen close to a thousand times. The Tuesday cabinet meeting ends on time. The VP who started emailing ideas instead of saying them out loud starts saying them out loud again. The plan from August is still alive in October — audible, not filed. That's not a culture initiative. That's a highly reliable system, doing what it's supposed to do. It starts with knowing, precisely, which of seven forces is your leak. Not guessing. Not a hallway read. Next week, you find out which one is yours. I'm opening The Burnout Force Check — three minutes, seven forces, your own honest number. It isn't live yet. It opens next week, right here.  Message me personally, and I'll make sure you're first through the door — doesn't matter which lanyard you're wearing. Follow DR. JOE HILL and Higher Performance Group
By HPG Info July 27, 2026
Why the seven forces driving burnout in your cabinet move exactly the way a piano does — and why the room adjusts to the wrongness long before anyone names it. Twenty years ago, I moved my family away from everything they knew. Not across town. Across area codes — away from the school where I was principal, away from grandparents, away from the only bedrooms my three kids had ever slept in, away from every friendship they'd built since kindergarten. I told my wife it was the right move for our family. I still believe that. But telling a nine-year-old “this is the right move for our family” lands about as well as telling your cabinet a reorg is the right move for the institution. Correct. Unpersuasive. Deeply unwelcome. So we did what desperate, loving parents do. Ice cream. A puppy negotiation I'm still not proud of. And one purchase that turned out to matter more than either: a baby grand piano for the new house. That piano is still in my living room. Twenty years, three kids, and a tuner later — a woman who showed up twice a year for over a decade and never once used the word “burnout” — here's what she taught me about running a cabinet, without ever meaning to. A piano doesn't fail all at once. It drifts. One string at a time, one season at a time, so slowly that everyone living inside the house adjusts to the wrongness without ever naming it. Your leadership team is doing the exact same thing right now. And the people closest to it — the ones playing it every single day — are the last people on earth who'll hear it. THE DIAGNOSIS · NOTHING BROKE. IT DRIFTED. Let's talk about drift like adults who've sat through enough strategic planning retreats to know the difference between a crisis and a slow leak. When's the last time a VP in your cabinet pushed back — and meant it? Nobody's cabinet collapses on a Tuesday. What actually happens is smaller and slower: the VP who used to push back in meetings stops pushing back. The initiative that launched with real energy in August is, by February, running on habit and a group chat nobody reads anymore. The meeting that used to run ninety minutes now runs sixty — not because anyone got more efficient, but because half the room quietly decided the extra thirty minutes of honesty wasn't worth it. None of that shows up on a dashboard. It shows up the way a piano goes flat — not as an event, but as an accumulation. By the time someone finally names it (usually a board member, not gently), you're not looking at one broken string. You're looking at an instrument nobody's tuned in two years, and a room full of good people who adjusted to the wrongness because it arrived one cent at a time. (This is the part where I'm supposed to tell you to “communicate more.” You already knew that. The real problem isn't communication. It's that nobody in your cabinet has a name for what's actually going wrong — so everyone quietly assumes it's just them.) Structure is never neutral. Every system is a self-portrait of whoever built it — and most of yours was painted before you ever took the seat. ❞ Which means the villain was never the people in the room. Individual brilliance, individual empathy, individual self-awareness — all present, all functioning. Multiply eight individually excellent people by a system nobody's maintaining, and the output doesn't hold. That's not a people problem. That's structural neglect wearing a people costume. What looks like burnout in your cabinet is usually the rational response of a capable person inside a broken system. ❞ (This is the exact gap Burnout Force was built to name — not another framework asking your cabinet to try harder individually, but a diagnostic for the structural neglect sitting underneath what looks like burnout. Seven forces, seven distinct mechanisms, each requiring its own fix — the same way a tuner never fixes “the piano,” she fixes one string at a time. More on all seven in a moment.) THE PIANO TUNING METHOD — OR WHY SEVEN FORCES, NOT ONE A piano has seven notes before the octave repeats. Do, Re, Mi, Fa, Sol, La, Ti. Seven distinct tones, each capable of going wrong in its own particular way, each requiring its own fix. A tuner doesn't fix “the piano” — she fixes seven specific things, one string tension at a time. Here's the part most people miss: the seventh string never sounds right until the first one's fixed. Burnout Force works the same way. Not one villain. Seven — each with a distinct mechanism, each recognizable once you know what you're listening for. 1 · Fragmentation — Unisons, Out of Sync Most piano notes aren't a single string — they're two or three strings tuned to the exact same pitch, meant to ring as one voice. Drift even slightly apart, and the note doesn't go silent. It goes blurry. Chorused. Technically playing, technically wrong. That's Fragmentation: a cabinet where everyone's still showing up, still contributing, and the collective sound is somehow muddier than any one of them alone. 2 · Exhaustion — String Tension Under Constant Load Piano wire doesn't need to be struck to lose its tension. Sustained load alone, with no release, causes metal fatigue — the string goes flat just from sitting there under pressure. There's an old performance formula worth borrowing here: performance equals potential, minus interference. Not potential plus effort. Your best people are going flat the same way — not from one hard day, but from load with no release, for long enough that flat becomes their normal. 3 · Isolation — Notes That Won't Resonate Together Piano strings produce overtones — secondary frequencies that aren't perfectly clean multiples of the main pitch. Tuners call this inharmonicity: individually well-tuned notes can still clash rather than support each other in a chord. A cabinet can be full of individually excellent leaders who still don't resonate together, because nobody ever tuned them to each other. (Coal miners didn't bring a canary into the mine for company — they brought it as an instrument. When the person who used to drive every meeting suddenly goes quiet in the back row, that's not an attitude problem. That's a reading coming off the instrument.) 4 · Scarcity — Compensation That Crowds the Room When a piano is stretched to compensate for inharmonicity, one note's resonance can crowd out another's — more presence for one string at the expense of the one beside it. Scarcity is the belief that someone else's win is quietly your loss. It's rarely true. It's a tuning problem mistaken for a competition. 5 · Comparison — The Sound of Two Things Measured Against Each Other When two strings are close but not exactly matched, you hear an actual physical pulsing — tuners call it a “beat.” It's the audible result of two things being judged against each other instead of each being allowed to be itself. Comparison in a cabinet works the same way: audible, measurable, and it doesn't resolve on its own. 6 · Noise — Losing the Reference Point Every piano is tuned from one reference octave first — usually the one built around middle C — and everything else is set relative to it. If that reference is never revisited, the whole instrument can be internally consistent with itself and still be wrong, because the one thing everything else depends on was never checked. That's Noise: a cabinet that's stopped returning to its actual reference point and started tuning to whatever's loudest that week. 7 · Drift — The One That Doesn't Announce Itself And then there's the one nobody has to cause. Piano tuners genuinely use this word: drift — the slow, seasonal, nobody-touched-anything loss of pitch that happens just from humidity and temperature changing in the room. No event. No single decision. Just time, and an environment nobody adjusted for. This is the force behind the other six — and the one every leader I know insists could never happen to them, right up until the year it does. WHY FOUR, LIVE — THE AMPLIFICATION ENGINE Here's the part most burnout content skips: not all seven forces are equally random. Four of them are the causal engine — they manufacture the other three. Fragmentation produces Exhaustion (coordinating around broken structure is its own kind of tired). Exhaustion produces Isolation (depleted people stop reaching for each other; reaching itself becomes the thing they can no longer afford). Isolation produces Scarcity (a cabinet that's stopped resonating together starts believing there isn't enough credit, attention, or budget to go around). And Scarcity feeds straight back into Fragmentation — louder, the second time through. Comparison, Noise, and Drift sit downstream of all four. Fix the engine, and the other three get dramatically easier for your own people to spot and name themselves. You cannot fix the seventh string by tightening it harder. You fix the first one, and the seventh gets easier to hear. ❞ I didn't learn any of this from a leadership book. I learned it from the same tuner — never used the word “burnout,” never needed to. She just knew the instrument needed her back, regularly, not once and done. ❝ Your cabinet needs the same thing. Not a single retreat. Not one framework, delivered once, expected to hold. A tuner. A rhythm. Someone who comes back. ❞ THE APPLICATION · MONDAY MORNING Here's what to do Monday morning (assuming your cabinet isn't already visibly out of tune — in which case, start today): Step 1 — Name your loudest string. (15 minutes) Of the seven forces, which one is making the most noise in your cabinet right now? Don't overthink it. Your gut answer is usually the correct diagnosis your data hasn't caught up to yet. Step 2 — Ask your cabinet the “beat” question. (20 minutes, next meeting) Ask directly: “Where do two of us sound like we're being measured against each other instead of just doing our own job well?” That's Comparison, made audible. You'll hear the beat the moment someone answers honestly. Step 3 — Schedule the return visit. (5 minutes) A piano tuned once and never revisited drifts right back. Put a recurring cabinet health conversation on the calendar — quarterly, minimum. The tuner's value was never the single visit. It was the relationship. “We don't have time for this.” You're already spending time managing the symptoms of an out-of-tune cabinet — the redundant meetings, the parking-lot conversations, the initiative that quietly died in month four. That time is already being spent. You're just spending it on maintenance instead of tuning. “My team will think this is soft.” Nobody thinks a piano tuner is soft. She shows up with a very specific diagnosis for a very specific string, and the room sounds different when she leaves. Precision isn't soft. Vague inspiration is soft. This isn't that. THE MATURITY SHIFT Immature leaders think: “We need a retreat to fix morale.” Mature leaders think: “We need a rhythm to maintain the instrument.” Immature leaders wait for the piano to sound obviously wrong before calling anyone. Mature leaders schedule the tuner before the drift is audible to the room. The uncomfortable truth: your cabinet didn't break. It drifted — one string, one season, one quiet accommodation at a time — and nobody wrote it down because nothing dramatic ever happened on any single day. The optimistic reframe: drift is the one force that responds completely to maintenance. You don't need a new piano. You need someone who comes back. Your worth was never conditional on the note holding perfectly. It just needs someone willing to notice when it doesn't — and come back. ❞ Your turn: Which of the seven strings is out of tune in your cabinet right now? Name it in the comments — the word is enough. Tag the person on your team who'd hear it the second you said it out loud. BURNOUT FORCE Burnout Force is the name for what's actually happening — seven specific, researched forces, each with its own mechanism, each solvable once it's named correctly. The keynote fights the first four, live, together, with your cabinet in the room — the causal engine, the ones everything else grows out of. The book carries all seven, in full, with the research behind each one, so your team can finish the tune-up without me there. This isn't another framework to add to the pile you already haven't implemented. It's a diagnostic — built from work across 987 leadership teams in 43 states — for naming precisely which of the seven forces is loudest in your institution right now, and what actually reverses it. 📊 3x performance improvement · 29% higher engagement · 27% better organizational outcomes · zero increase in burnout — because these teams stopped treating exhaustion as a personal failing and started treating it as a structural, solvable problem. If you already know which string is out of tune in your cabinet, the conversation about whether Burnout Force is the right next step for your institution is a short one. Book 30 minutes and let's have it. higherperformancegroup.com/burnout-force FOUND VALUE IN THIS? Help another leader hear their own drift: → Repost with the force that's loudest in your cabinet right now. → Tag a leader who'd recognize this the moment they read it. → Comment with the last time something on your team went quietly out of tune — and nobody said anything for months.  The more leaders who learn to hear the drift before the crisis, the fewer institutions have to relearn this the hard way. Follow DR. JOE HILL and Higher Performance Group for weekly Team Intelligence insights.
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