Like You, I'm Trying To Do The "Vacation Thing” Better

July 5, 2022

A college president dropped into a team meeting I was facilitating last week, and her team said, “Hey, I thought you were on vacation this week.” The president said, “I’m struggling to stay away.”


Most leaders I know struggle with taking vacations of any kind.


I’m curious if you do because I am planning a bit of a sabbatical in July, and I’m not sure I REALLY want to. 


It’s been an epic battle for me over the years.


I LOVE THE WORK.

Many leaders never take a real break. As a result, they end up breaking.


Instead, we cheat (like the college leader mentioned above). You cheat yourself (and your family) by popping on email for an hour every morning. Or by checking in with staff to see if anything’s on fire.


Or maybe you’ve done a “working vacation” (oxymoron) to work on a big project or write a book.


I’ve done all those things, but lately, I’ve been TRYING to be more intentional about taking more real vacations and real breaks.


Like you, I’m trying to do the “vacation thing” better. 


The more driven you are, the more this truth is for you. 


These are some things I’ve experienced in my attempts to gear down over the past year. 

1. Discomfort

When you’re constantly busy, you get used to a fast pace and the hum of always having something needing your attention.


When you take a real break, the quiet outside reveals the disquiet within you.


Pay attention to the discomfort but don’t give into it. Don’t race to fill the stillness with activity. 


Embrace it.


Inside the quiet, you’ll discover a wealth of ideas:

➜ Issues you need to work through.

➜ Fears you need to confront.

➜ Possibilities you never dreamed of before.

➜ You! A fully present and authentic YOU.


If you don’t give in to the discomfort and linger in the silence and quiet long enough, you’ll learn to lead from peace.


As the famous mystic and poet Rumi said, "The soul has been given its ears to hear things the mind does not understand."


Take the discomfort of quiet as a gift and trust that it has something for you. 


2. A Sense Of Being Lost

If you’re used to running at a fast pace, you won’t know exactly what to do with yourself, and you might feel a bit lost. 


That’s totally ok. 


If you do this well, you’ll eventually find a deeper and more mature you. In addition to lingering in the stillness, resist the urge to fill the void with a surge of activity.


Allowing yourself to feel lost will help you find a restored you.


The inner battle is where all growth emerges.


3. Productivity Shame

Productivity shame is what you feel when your life goes from 110 mph to zero overnight.

So, what is productivity shame exactly?


According to the leaders at Rescue Time, first, it’s the feeling that you’ve never done enough. No matter how many hours you work or how many tasks you cross off your to-do list, you always feel a sense of shame around your work. You keep thinking you could have done more.


Second, productivity shame is the feeling that you aren’t allowed to do “unproductive” things. You feel a sense of guilt when you spend time on hobbies, watch a movie, or simply sit back and relax.


Oh, this is killing me! 


You?


4. Tears

Yes, tears. “why on earth am I crying when I’m supposed to be on vacation” tears.

If this is your first foray into being completely off work since the kickoff of the pandemic, then all three factors above may likely lead to tears.


Surprisingly, a good cry signals that you are doing the vacation thing right.


The quiet, discomfort and failure to give in to productivity shame mean you’re giving the silence space to do its work.


The first few times I really unplugged, I learned things about myself (my anger, my achievement addiction, the adrenaline junkie I’d become).

 

And yes, it led to tears. And then therapy and coaching and eventually, to freedom.


The worst thing you can do when you find yourself getting emotional when you’re disconnecting is to shake it off and do what we mid-westerners do… We bury it. 


Let it surface. Surrender to it. 


It’s called growth.


5. A New Baseline

Who are you when you’re fully rested?


My guess is you have no idea how to answer it because the last time you were fully rested, you didn’t have all your permanent teeth in your mouth.


Over the years, I’ve been experimenting with finding my ‘baseline,’ which is how I feel, behave, and approach life when I’m in my non-anxious presence. 


Finding your baseline is a little like the science of speedometer calibration. A speedometer is accurate because it’s calibrated to tell you whether you’re going 35 or 75. 


If the calibration is off, so is your reading.


Many driven leaders lead like their baselines are calibrated to 50 mph. They live at 70-90 mph most of the time. On the weekend, they might come down to 60 or 50 and think, “there, I’m rested.”


But they have no idea there’s even a 20 mph, or 10, or zero. They have no idea who they are deeply rested.


How do you find your baseline?


Take enough time off to sleep and rest until you’re no longer tired. Eat well, exercise, and nap as often as you need to until you’re ‘caught up. Relax, unwind, and get fully rested. Note: This might take a few weeks. Then see who you are.

  • How do you feel?
  • How are you treating other people?
  • What do you enjoy?
  • Who are you now?


That’s your baseline.


The way to do that is to live in a way today that helps you thrive tomorrow. I can show you how to do that here.

 

Find your baseline and get back to it regularly; the next vacation won’t be nearly as hard.


RECLAIM IT!

As we move into the midpoint of summer, you can almost hear that collective “what-the…” from campus leaders across the country. 


Who’s been able to take a break yet?


I had a college president who told me that she “HOPES” to take the 4th of July off “IF” she can complete all her hiring.


I feel her pain and yours. 


The challenges left in the wake of these past two years have many leaders taking extended leave and others left to do most of the work. 


The question is, “is it sustainable?”


I know how much this summer break is needed, and I trust that your calendar has some dates marked off for you to truly get away. 


But don’t be fooled. 


I’m here to remind you that many of those same problems and issues will await you and your team when you return in the fall.   


Leaders hate when I say this (while they shake their heads in agreement), but managing crisis was challenging but leading OUT of crisis will be much more complex and demanding. 


Healthy leaders and teams will be in high demand to build (not rebuild) the plans and strategies to navigate the uncharted territory ahead. 


You need to take action and Reclaim Your Momentum!


You may be one of the hundreds who requested and downloaded my free guide on reclaiming your momentum in the past few weeks and months. The feedback I’ve received from so many of you continues to be overwhelming. 


Because of that, I’m going on tour. 


I’ve turned this essential topic into a 2-hour LIVE keynote that I’m delivering to campus leadership teams across the county this summer and fall. 


If you’re like most campus leaders, you’ve spent countless hours these past years putting out fires, dealing with negativity, drama, and just plain old burnout across the board. 


And, like so many others, you’re fed up with feeling stuck. 


It’s time to take action.


For a limited time, I’m offering an Early Bird Discount for campuses that book our new 2-hour live keynote before July 30th! 


Click here for the details.


What are you waiting for?


It would be an honor to be your guide and help you and your team regain lost ground and Reclaim Your Momentum. 


Joe


Dr. Joe Hill 

Founder, Higher Performance Group


P.S. Be sure to share this email with a team member or fellow leaders across your network who could use a nudge of inspiration and challenge. Together we can help raise the waterline of hope, stability, trust, and compassion for those doing the most good across our learning communities. 


Click here to learn more.



See What Reclaim Your Momentum {LIVE} is All About

More Blog Articles

By HPG Info May 25, 2026
Note: Your team already knows the answer. Here’s a diagnostic question nobody asks at your strategic planning retreat: When was the last time your stated values cost someone something real? Not a performance conversation. Not an awkward pause in a hiring debrief. An actual consequence — a hire you didn’t make, a promotion you delayed, a departure you initiated — because someone violated the culture, not the metrics. Take a moment. Search your memory. I’ll wait. If you’re struggling to name the instance — not because it was so long ago, but because it genuinely hasn’t happened — then you don’t have values. You have wallpaper. Beautiful, professionally designed, consensus-approved wallpaper. Run a word cloud on the stated values of 500 K-12 and higher ed institutions right now. Integrity. Respect. Excellence. Innovation. Equity. Community. The six most expensive words in educational leadership. Expensive because they cost nothing to claim and prove nothing when violated. Meanwhile, the highest-performing organizations outside education built something structurally different. Their lesson isn’t philosophical. It’s architectural. And the gap between what they built and what most institutions call a values exercise is costing your institution more than your last three failed strategic initiatives combined. The villain here is not your character or your cabinet’s. It’s what happens — reliably, predictably, across 987 leadership teams in 43 states — when values live in the lobby instead of the decision architecture. The Diagnosis: When Values Become Performance Art The décor model is predictable. An institution convenes a committee, runs a facilitated process involving Post-it notes and enthusiastic nodding, and produces a list of virtues nobody could argue with. Respect. Integrity. Innovation. All free. All harmless. All useless as architecture. The problem isn’t the words. It’s what happens next — which is nothing. Values get a design treatment, go on the wall, and actual decisions continue being made by what has always made them: budget pressure, political relationships, and the preferences of whoever has the most tenure and the least accountability. (You know that person. They were in your last cabinet meeting. They’ll be in the next one.) Here’s the diagnostic question that matters: When did your values last make a decision before you did? The pattern across our research is consistent. Institutions with performative values frameworks operate at a fraction of their collective ceiling. Not because the people lack conviction — they don’t. But because when the person who most visibly undermines the stated culture keeps getting promoted, your team doesn’t conclude the values were ambiguous. They conclude the values were theater. And they adapt — rationally, efficiently, quietly — to the system that actually exists. Not the one on the wall. (This is the structural villain THE TEAM INSTITUTE addresses — not by teaching better values, but by building the architecture that makes values operational at the cabinet level. More on that in a moment.) Here’s what makes this urgent: your best people — the ones with options, the ones whose departure would sting — figured this out faster than you did. They’re not disengaged. They’re in values triage. Sorting signal from performance. Deciding how much of themselves to invest in a culture they can’t yet verify is real. What Load-Bearing Values Actually Look Like The highest-performing organizations outside education didn’t stumble into values clarity. They engineered it. And in every case, the thing that made their values real was identical: consequences built into the architecture. Netflix: Adequate Performance Gets a Generous Severance Package That single line — published in Netflix’s culture document, viewed over 20 million times, called by Sheryl Sandberg the most important document to come out of Silicon Valley — is the most load-bearing value statement in modern organizational history. Not because it’s harsh. Because it’s honest. Netflix built the Keeper Test. Managers ask one question, regularly: if this person told me they were leaving for a comparable role elsewhere, would I fight hard to keep them? If the answer is no, Netflix doesn’t wait for performance to deteriorate. They offer a generous severance and open the seat for someone who earns a yes. The question for your cabinet: would you fight hard to keep every direct report? At Netflix, that answer has a documented consequence. At most institutions, it’s just a thought that happens on the drive home. Southwest Airlines: Warrior Spirit, Servant’s Heart, Fun-LUVing Attitude Southwest receives a job application every two seconds. They hire fewer than 2% of applicants. Before any skills assessment, they screen for exactly three things: Warrior Spirit, Servant’s Heart, Fun-LUVing Attitude. Not aspirational nouns. Behavioral filters, observable in a group interview — in how you treat the receptionist when you think no one’s watching, in the story you tell about a time you failed, in whether you laugh at yourself or perform competence. Their motto: hire for attitude, train for skill. Because you can train someone to load a plane. You cannot train a cultural misfit into a high performer. And Southwest measures all three values in annual performance reviews — not just what you produced, but how you produced it. The diagnostic question: do your stated values appear in your hiring rubric, your performance evaluation, or your promotion criteria? If the answer to all three is no — you built values for the lobby, not the institution. Zappos: We Will Pay You to Leave After completing their first week of training at Zappos, new employees received a check to quit. Tony Hsieh eventually raised it to $4,000. Less than 1% took the offer. That’s the point. The check wasn’t designed to thin the herd. It forced a conscious declaration. People who turn down $4,000 to stay are actually here. Everyone else is just present. There’s a difference. Your cabinet can feel the difference in the first fifteen minutes of a cabinet meeting. Hsieh fired people performing their jobs well if they were corrosive to the culture. The question for your institution: have you ever let a genuinely talented person go because of a values call alone? If the honest answer is never — you haven’t yet tested whether your values are real. Patagonia: We Told Our Customers Not to Buy Our Product Black Friday 2011 — the highest-revenue retail day of the year. Patagonia ran a full-page ad in the New York Times: “Don’t Buy This Jacket.” The ad detailed the exact environmental cost of producing their best-selling R2 jacket: 135 liters of water, 20 pounds of CO₂, two-thirds of its own weight in waste. Then asked consumers to think before buying anything new. Revenue grew 30% in the nine months that followed. Not because the ad was clever — because people recognized something rare: an organization that actually means what it says. Patagonia told customers not to buy their product and grew 30%. Because the only thing rarer than an organization that means what it says is the person who doesn’t notice when one finally shows up. The question for your institution: would you take the institutional equivalent of that position? A costly public stand, at an inconvenient moment, because your values demanded it? If that’s hard to even imagine, your values haven’t been tested enough to know if they’re real. The Team Jersey Principle In sports, wearing the jersey means something. It’s not a costume. It’s a declaration of accountability to a shared standard that exists independent of your mood on a given Tuesday. The most impactful leaders don’t just comply with institutional values — they wear them. They reference them in hard conversations. They invoke them when it’s inconvenient. They make the call nobody would hold them to — and they make it anyway. Herb Kelleher worked baggage handling the day before Thanksgiving — busiest travel day of the year, in the rain — because the Warrior Spirit wasn’t a poster to him. Patagonia’s founder eventually gave the entire company to a climate trust. Not a PR move. A leader who decided the jersey was worth more than the equity. The diagnostic question: would your cabinet describe you as someone who wears the institutional values — or someone who administers them? The gap between those two descriptions is the cultural altitude your institution is currently operating at. What HPG Just Did We completed our own 2026–2027 values exercise — the real kind. What we landed on:
By HPG Info May 18, 2026
You believe in your people. Your org chart doesn't.  That's not a leadership philosophy problem. It's an architecture problem. And it's sitting in five questions. The gap between what your cabinet produces and what it's actually capable of isn't a hiring problem. It isn't a training problem. It isn't even a culture problem — though it wears culture's name in most post-mortem conversations. It's a deployment problem. And it has a name: The Deployment Gap — the distance between what your people are actually built to do and what your cabinet architecture is currently asking them to do. You don't have a talent problem. You have a deployment architecture problem. And unlike talent, architecture is completely within your control. The test below takes eight minutes. It will either confirm what you already sense — or surface a gap you've been too busy to name. Either way, you'll know something true by the end of it. THE DIAGNOSIS Why Brilliant People Produce Mediocre Cabinets Let's talk about this like adults who've survived enough strategic planning retreats to know the difference between a cabinet that's functioning and one that's performing. Functioning cabinets execute. They show up, manage their portfolios, hit compliance deadlines, and nod in the right places. (You know the nod. The one that means "I heard you" but not "I'm with you." The one that migrates to the parking lot conversation afterward.) Performing cabinets multiply. They think together. They cover each other's blind spots. They produce outcomes that none of them could have generated alone — not because they're smarter individually, but because the collective architecture actually matches who they are. Here's the uncomfortable truth most leadership development programs won't tell you: The gap between those two cabinets is almost never about talent. It's almost always about deployment. Research across 987 leadership teams tells us the same story in different fonts. High-IQ cabinets underperform not because of individual deficiency but because of structural misalignment — people operating outside their zone of genuine contribution, carrying responsibilities that drain rather than energize, filling roles designed for a generic leader rather than the specific, irreplaceable human being actually sitting in the seat. TQ = IQ × EQ × PQ. The PQ dimension — Perceptual Intelligence, the capacity to accurately see what's actually happening with the people in your system — is the one most cabinet leaders have optimized least. Not because they don't care. Because nobody gave them a diagnostic tool that cut beneath the org chart. Until now. (This is the exact gap THE TEAM INSTITUTE was built to close — not through individual development, but through collective architecture that deploys who your people actually are. More in a moment.) Before you run the test — one quick audit: when did you last ask a cabinet member what they do better than almost anyone? If you're reaching for a specific answer, note that. If you're not — note that too. THE 5-QUESTION CABINET STRESS TEST Run this on your current cabinet. Answer honestly — not as the leader you want to be, but as the one who was in last Tuesday's cabinet meeting. No scoring rubric. What follows each question is a consequence statement. The answer you give is less important than what it tells you about the system you've built. Question 1 If every cabinet member were asked to name their single greatest professional strength — the thing they do better than almost anyone — would their answers match what you're currently asking them to do? If the answer is mostly no — or if you're not certain what their answers would be — you have a Discovery Gap. Your cabinet architecture was designed around roles, not people. The result: capable individuals operating at a fraction of their actual ceiling, not because they're underperforming but because they're misaligned. The tragedy isn't that they're failing. It's that they're succeeding at the wrong things. Question 2 In your last five cabinet meetings, who spoke the most? Who spoke the least? And does that pattern reflect genuine contribution — or organizational hierarchy? Silence in a cabinet meeting is never neutral. It's either the silence of someone who feels safe enough to think before speaking — or the silence of someone who has learned that speaking costs more than it's worth. If the same two or three voices dominate every meeting regardless of topic, you don't have a quiet cabinet. You have a cabinet where PQ has been quietly trained out of most of the room. The ideas you need most are sitting behind the people who stopped offering them somewhere between year one and year two. Question 3 When did you last move someone in your cabinet — not out, sideways — because you discovered they'd be more valuable somewhere else? If the answer is "never" or "not recently," you're running a static architecture in a dynamic institution. The principle of comparative advantage — deploying people based on what makes the whole team better, not just what fills the org chart — requires ongoing recalibration. High-TQ cabinets aren't built once. They're continuously tuned. If your cabinet looks structurally identical to the one you inherited or designed three years ago, it's almost certainly operating below its ceiling — because the people in it have grown, and the structure hasn't followed. Question 4 If you removed yourself from the room, would the quality of your cabinet's thinking go up, go down, or stay the same? This one stops people cold. And it should. The honest answer for most leaders is: it would go down. Not because their cabinet is incapable — but because the cabinet has been architected around the leader's presence rather than the team's collective intelligence. When the leader is the room's primary thinker, the cabinet functions as a reporting structure rather than a thinking unit. High-TQ cabinets are built to think better when the leader steps back, not worse. If your absence creates a gap rather than an activation, the architecture needs attention. → Save this before you keep reading. Question 4 is the one you'll want to bring to your cabinet. Question 5 What is one thing someone on your cabinet is genuinely better at than you — and are you currently deploying that superiority or quietly managing it? This is the question that separates leaders who believe in their people from leaders who manage their people. Believing in people is not a sentiment. It's a structural act. It means building an architecture where someone else's excellence isn't a threat to your authority — it's the mechanism by which your institution actually moves. If the honest answer is that you're managing their superiority rather than deploying it, you're paying the full cost of their talent while capturing only a fraction of its value. The org chart proves it — or it doesn't. THE FRAMEWORK What High-TQ Cabinets Do Differently The leaders in our research who moved their cabinets from functioning to performing didn't do it through better hiring. They did it through better seeing. They stopped asking "Is this person good at their job?" and started asking "Is this person in the job they're actually built for — and is the team architecture drawing out what makes them irreplaceable?" Three specific moves separated them from the rest. Move 1: The Contribution Conversation 30 minutes. This week. Schedule a one-on-one with each cabinet member — not a performance check-in. A contribution conversation. One question: "If you could redesign your role to maximize what you do better than almost anyone, what would change?" Then listen without defending the org chart. You're not committing to restructuring. You're generating intelligence. What you learn in those conversations will tell you more about your cabinet's deployment gap than any assessment you've ever administered. (If you're thinking "I don't have time for five thirty-minute conversations" — you're currently spending far more than that managing the downstream effects of misalignment. The math is not close.) Move 2: The Silence Audit Your next cabinet meeting. At your next cabinet meeting, track — on paper, not mentally — who speaks, on what topics, and for how long. Don't change the meeting. Just observe it. What you'll find almost always surprises leaders: the pattern of voice has almost nothing to do with who has the most relevant expertise on a given topic. It has everything to do with who has learned that speaking in this room is safe. The silence audit isn't about demanding more participation. It's about diagnosing which voices your current architecture has quietly trained out of the room — and what those voices would be worth if the architecture changed. Move 3: The Comparative Advantage Question Standing agenda item. Add one question to your monthly cabinet agenda: "Given what each of us is genuinely best at — are we deployed against our comparative advantages right now, or against our job descriptions?" High-TQ cabinets ask this question continuously. They treat deployment as a living variable, not a fixed structure. The result isn't chaos — it's the opposite. When people operate inside their zone of genuine contribution, the collective architecture stabilizes because everyone is giving what they actually have rather than performing what was expected. THE MATURITY SHIFT IMMATURE LEADER THINKS: "I need to develop my people." MATURE LEADER THINKS: "I need to deploy my people — against what they're actually built for, not what the org chart assumed they'd be." IMMATURE LEADER THINKS: Fills roles with people. Hires for the job description. Evaluates against it. Develops people within it. MATURE LEADER THINKS: Builds architecture around people. Discovers what each person does better than almost anyone. Builds the structure that deploys it. IMMATURE LEADER THINKS: Believes in their people as a value statement. MATURE LEADER THINKS: Believes in their people as a structural act. The org chart proves it — or it doesn't. The gap between believing in your people and building for them is the most expensive gap in educational leadership. It doesn't show up on your balance sheet. It shows up in every cabinet meeting where the room produces less than the sum of the people in it. Your turn: Run Question 1 right now. Name one person on your cabinet whose greatest professional strength is not what you're currently asking them to do most. First name only. One sentence. What would change in your institution if you fixed that one misalignment? Drop it in the comments. The pattern in those answers will tell you something important about how many leaders are sitting on untapped architecture. THE TEAM INSTITUTE Most leadership development programs operate on a theory that is structurally backwards: develop people individually, and cabinet performance will follow. It won't. Not at the level you need. Not consistently. Not without the collective architecture that ensures individual development actually lands somewhere. Here's what the research across 987 leadership teams shows: the cabinets that moved from 60% to 90% capacity didn't get there by becoming individually sharper. They got there by building the collective conditions where each person's genuine contribution could actually be deployed — and protected. That's what THE TEAM INSTITUTE builds. Not better individual leaders. Better collective architecture — the shared language, structural clarity, and trust infrastructure that turns eight individually capable people into a cabinet that genuinely multiplies. 8 months. Full cabinet. Sequential development that builds from the foundations on which everything else depends. From our research: 3x performance improvement. 29% higher engagement. 27% better organizational outcomes. Zero burnout increase. One requirement: full cabinet participation. Partial collective architecture is not architecture. It's a majority position wearing the name of the whole. If you recognized your cabinet somewhere in those five questions, that recognition is data. Not a feeling. Data. The Team Intelligence Assessment is not a self-assessment. It's a whole-cabinet diagnostic — your full leadership team completes it together, and the output shows exactly where your cabinet lands on the spectrum from functioning to multiplying. Calibrated against 987 leadership teams across 43 states. The output pinpoints specifically whether the gap in your cabinet lives in IQ, EQ, or PQ. Most cabinets find the gap isn't where they assumed it was. That surprise is where the real work begins. If there were a way to build the collective architecture your cabinet is missing — without another retreat that returns seven brilliant individuals to the same broken system — would that be worth exploring? → Learn more and reserve your team's assessment window: higherperformancegroup.com/team-intelligence-assessment This is a conversation between people who are done accepting cabinets that function when they could be multiplying. FOUND VALUE IN THIS? Help other educational leaders find it: → Repost this with your answer to Question 4. "If I stepped out, my cabinet's thinking would _____." One word. The leaders who need to read this are in your network right now — and that one word will make them stop scrolling. → Tag a cabinet member who brings something genuinely irreplaceable to your team — and tell them you see it. Seven words. Highest-ROI leadership act you'll do this week. → Comment with your honest answer to Question 1. One name, one sentence. The pattern in those comments will tell you something important about how many leaders are sitting on untapped architecture. The more leaders who move from developing their people to deploying them, the better our institutions become. Follow DR. JOE HILL for the framework. Follow Higher Performance Group for the research behind it. Every week.
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