Imagine this: in a moment of irritation at the noise, Covey leaned in and suggested the father might quiet his children. "I suppose I should," the man said, his tone heavy. "We've just come from the hospital. Their mother died an hour ago. We're all a bit lost right now." [1]
Covey meant well. But even with the best intentions, he stumbled. He got caught in a mental shortcut we all take now and then—the Fundamental Attribution Error. [2] It's a trap that can sour good relationships if we're not careful. It's when we let our own story about someone's behavior overshadow the actual story unfolding around them.
Consider the father, seemingly not paying attention to his children's commotion. It wasn't that he didn't care. He was in the depths of grief, managing the impossible after his partner's death.
It's easy to misread an email silence as a mistake or a muted response in a video call as dissatisfaction. But often, it's not about us. There's a bigger picture, a context we're not seeing. It's worth remembering that actions are not always the mirror of the soul; more often, they're echoes of a day, a moment in time.
So, let's pause. Before we jump to conclusions, remember that everyone has their own battles, unseen and unspoken. [3]
Footnotes
[1] The 7 Habits of Highly-Effective People by Stephen Covey.
[2] The Choice Factory: 25 Behavioral Biases that Influence What We Buy by Richard Shotton.
[3] James Clear’s adaptation of Hanlon’s Razor, an aphorism that assists with overcoming the FAE, nicely compliments my closing remark: “Never attribute to negative intentions that which can be explained by busyness.” (Source: X/Twitter.)
Yep, We Are Expecting!
Exciting news about our new arrival -
#CANCELAVERAGE: A Practical Guide to Accelerating Higher Team Performance
This isn't just another HPG book release. As this semester wraps up, we're rolling out a manifesto for those who lead, not because they have to but because they can't not. For those who see leadership as a profound duty to better their team, system, and community—this is for you!
This is about upgrading from good to outstanding. It's not light reading; it's a playbook for the committed. It's for those willing to embrace the struggle, who lead with their minds and the grit in their gut.
If your work is more than a job, this book is your nudge. Get ready for the official release and the #CANCELAVERAGE Keynote Tour, which begins in May, 2024.
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